Which parents do not want their children to see them as their hero? We love it when our children achieve a great feat, and we get to say ‘that is my son’ that is my daughter’. Do you think such would happen if the relationship between your kids and you is not smooth? Probably this covid-19 lockdown period is the time for you to start acting right with your children. Family is of great importance, and it is the factor with the greatest impact on the life of a child. Building a positive relationship with your kids is the surest way to create a great impact on their lives. Children are fragile beings that find it hard to learn from someone they do not connect with. Moreover, who are they meant to connect with the most? Yes! You the parent! You might have been a busy parent, going to work early, and coming back late.
Building a strong relationship no matter what kind takes every effort you can give to ensure it works out. Although they are your kids, you gave birth to them. However, a parent-child bond is not one that is just created based on biology alone, it takes deliberate effort and commitment. Here are 7 ways you can build a positive relationship with your children;
1. Relationship takes time and work
Learn to devote your time to your children. Remember, there is no switch to developing relationships with anyone, it takes time and lots of work. You cannot expect to build a good relationship with your son when you spend all your time at work, and by the time you get back, he is asleep. The job might be hard, but you should know that you need to create the time if you want a better relationship with your kids. Now that you are at home, there is no excuse for coming late from work.
2. Do not talk about school alone
Academic is important, but it should not be the only reason you want to talk with your children. When you ignore other sensitive topics they might have in mind to discuss with you, you are indirectly giving them the go-ahead to talk with outsiders. I am sure you have heard of situations where certain individuals have taken advantage of kids because they open up to them. Topics like sex, puberty, and bullying should be discussed with your children, no matter how sensitive it might be, let them know you understand what they might be going through.
3. Spend time together as a family
Dinners, cinemas, and movies are ways families connect. When kids are young, it is easier to get them engaged in having family time before they grow older and other activities tend to take them away. Make it the habit of having dinner together – you can then ask your kids to discuss how their day went. By doing this, not only do you build a bond, but you are also able to identify if your kids are having any problems in school or other important aspects of their lives.
4. Do work together
In their early years, children see their parents as their role model – meaning they would always want to engage in what you do. Don’t you then think this is another way to spend time with them? You can do chores with them, while they help you out. Chores like cleaning and doing the laundry, also have them help out in the kitchen to cook. Through this, you can talk about hard work and how it can help them in life.
5. Talk about their interests
You will be surprised at how much they know, and how much they are willing to share. You can also partake in any to make it even more fun-filled. Kids love it when they have their parents engaged with them in what they like doing; like going to your boys’ soccer game or attending your daughters’ dance class.
6. Don’t overlook bad behavior
In as much as you want to support your kids and build that relationship, you should not overlook any of their bad behavior. They are young, and they will make mistakes. The main thing is to guide him/her towards having good behavior. Should your child act wrong, punish, but keep the punishment short and age-appropriate. You do not want your child to see you as a torturer. Correct with love.
7. Apologize when wrong
The mistake can also come from your end – we are all bound to make mistakes, even as parents. One thing about adults is that they do not like to apologize even when they are wrong, this is not right. Apologizing to your kids does not mean you are beneath them, unlike the opinion of most parents. It simply means you are willing to build trust with them.
Building relationships with young ones is not like the one you create with your colleagues at work. You will need to come down to their level so you can connect well with them. What is crucial in this relationship building is by being available physically and emotionally. Once your kids can trust your presence around them they start to unveil their mind to you – through this, ensure you are supportive and you give listening ears.
