Kids Learn What They Live

Ever corrected your kids and you could have sworn you heard your parents talking?

I’d sometimes corrected my kids when they do something wrong and I could hear my mum speak. The same words, gestures, and body language as that of my mum. The resemblance is funny.

This happens because the training we were given as kids do not only affect our lifestyle but also end up shaping who we are in the future – our parenting styles. As kids, we grew up seeing our parents doing something, so it grew on us – we copy our parents.

Children learn what they live

When children live with love, affection, encouragement, and appreciation in their daily lives, they are most likely going to adopt this behavior when they grow up. This behavior as a matter of fact become a major part of their lives.

As teenagers, they might get rebellious and reject these, but most of them end up accepting these as their core values in their early twenties and beyond.

In the same way, when kids live with criticism, hatred, and intolerance there is a possibility they will end up displaying those attitudes. Apart from the parents, schools and teachers also teach children certain attitudes, but it is hard to write those over the attitude and values they learn at home.

The probability of the kids reflecting their parents’ attitude is higher than that of them displaying those of their teachers.

Are you happy with what you see?

Take time to look at your children’s’ behavior and attitude, especially how they treat others. If you are comfortable with what you see, then clap for yourself – you have done a good job in raising kids that will grow up to be like you.

If you are not happy with what you are seeing – this does not include those naughty attitudes they put up once in a while, or probably when they are stressed, but you actually are not happy with how they behave  – then you need to take time to think and act!

This is not necessarily a bad thing, kids have direct access to both the good and bad behavior of their parents. As their parent, you just have to make sure that your good behavior is showcased, while the bad is reduced to the lowest level – and if possible not witnessed by your children.

It will be helpful if you can sit down with your partner/spouse to examine the kind of attitude they show around the kids. It will even help in bonding as a family – your kids will always want to be like you their parent. Start reflecting on the attitude you all have in common, if you are happy with the attitude of your kids, then you are good. If not, that means it is time to change.