A generation ago, the equation was simple, or so we believed: pour love, discipline, and strong values into a child, and the result would be a well-adjusted, respectful, and successful adult. Good parenting was the infallible recipe for good children. But in today’s rapidly evolving world, that comforting certainty has been replaced by a gnawing question many parents, particularly in Nigeria, are grappling with: Does good parenting still guarantee a good child?
The honest and often uncomfortable answer is, increasingly, no. This isn’t a condemnation of parental efforts, but a recognition of the new, powerful forces shaping our children’s lives, forces that are largely beyond the control of even the most dedicated mother or father.
Consider the landscape of a Nigerian child today versus two decades ago. The community “village” that once co-parented our children is in retreat. Neighbors knew your child, and a simple reprimand from a “mummy next door” was enough to set things straight. Today, urbanization and an increasingly individualistic culture mean that the village is gone, replaced by a digital one.
The internet and social media are the new, all-powerful influences. A child can be raised in a home steeped in Nigerian culture and values, taught the importance of respect for elders and communal responsibility, and then spend hours online, immersed in a global culture that often celebrates individualism, instant gratification, and a constant, curated performance for an invisible audience. They are exposed to ideas, lifestyles, and pressures that are a world away from what is being taught at the dinner table. They see celebrity culture, hyper-consumerism, and a distorted reality where success is measured in ‘likes’ and ‘followers’. How do you counter a thousand online influences with a single parental voice?
READ MORE: Reflections and Resolutions: Parenting Style in Nigeria
Furthermore, the economic pressures on Nigerian families are unprecedented. Both parents are often working tirelessly to make ends meet, leaving less time for hands-on, intentional parenting. The once-sacred family time is now squeezed between school runs, traffic, and the sheer exhaustion of modern life. Children are increasingly left to the care of house helpers or their own devices, quite literally.
This is not to say that parental effort is futile. The foundations of love, discipline, and values remain crucial. A strong home environment is still the most significant bulwark against the negative influences of the outside world. But we must be realistic. We are no longer the sole architects of our children’s character; we are now one of many builders, some of whom are working with blueprints we don’t understand and tools we can’t control.
This new reality calls for a different kind of parenting, one that is less about guaranteeing a specific outcome and more about equipping our children with resilience, critical thinking, and a strong moral compass. It’s about teaching them to navigate the chaotic sea of information and influence, rather than trying to shield them from it. It requires us to be more than just providers and disciplinarians; we must become their mentors, their confidantes, and their partners in navigating a world we ourselves are still trying to understand.
The conversation needs to shift from “Are we good parents?” to “Are we preparing our children for the world they actually live in?” This thought-provoking reality may be unsettling, but it is also an invitation to a deeper, more intentional form of parenthood, one where we accept that a good child is no longer a given, but a testament to a continuous, conscious struggle against forces far greater than ourselves.
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/Parents-GettyImages-1480854418-3ea26aa1ef5c43b1a40b17c7026608ed.jpg){kind=link}