For many Nigerian parents, the thought of talking to their children about sex and puberty brings a knot of discomfort. Cultural norms and religious values often prioritize silence on the topic, but in today’s digital age, silence is no longer protection; it’s a risk.
Our children are being exposed to unfiltered information from peers, social media, and the internet. To truly safeguard their innocence and well-being, we must step up as their primary source of accurate, values-based information.
Here is a straightforward guide on how to approach sex education with your children, respecting your faith and culture while preparing them for the world.
- Shift from a “Talk” to a Conversation
Stop waiting for a single, formal, intimidating “talk.” Sex education is a continuous conversation, starting from the toddler years and evolving through adolescence.
- Early Years (Ages 3-7): Focus on correct vocabulary for body parts (e.g., vagina, penis). This normalizes the body. More critically, teach them about privacy and the “good touch, bad touch.” Emphasize that their body belongs to them and they must always tell a trusted adult if someone makes them uncomfortable.
- Primary School (Ages 8-12): Introduce the basics of puberty and hygiene before the changes begin. Explain the menstrual cycle to girls and voice changes to boys. Frame these changes as normal, natural signs of growing up.
- Teenage Years (Ages 13+): This is when deeper discussions on consequences, healthy relationships, consent, peer pressure, and digital safety are vital.
- Weave Your Values into the Biology
You don’t have to choose between education and your faith. Your cultural and religious values are your strongest teaching tools.
- Define Purpose: Frame sexuality as a beautiful, powerful part of human life created by God/Nature, intended for responsibility and commitment (often within marriage, based on your faith).
- Teach Respect: Emphasize respect for one’s own body as a temple and respect for the bodies and choices of others. This is where you connect your values to the concept of consent—that all interactions must be mutually respectful and agreed upon.
- Address Consequences: Discuss the emotional, spiritual, and physical consequences of actions, tying them back to the importance of making wise, responsible decisions.
- Create a Non-Judgmental Space
Your child should see you as their safest resource. If they ask a question or share a concern, your reaction is everything.
- Stay Calm: If they ask something awkward, resist the urge to gasp, blush, or scold. A calm, matter-of-fact response keeps the door open.
- Listen First: When a question comes up, ask, “What have you heard about that?” or “What do your friends say?” This helps you address the misinformation they already have, rather than just delivering a standard lecture.
- Acknowledge and Validate: If they express feelings of confusion or embarrassment about puberty, validate their experience: “It’s normal to feel a little awkward when your body is changing so fast. I felt that way too.”
By proactively having these conversations, starting small, being honest, and anchoring the discussion in your family’s values, you are empowering your child. You are not permitting them to be intimate; you are giving them the knowledge and confidence to be safe, responsible, and healthy in all aspects of their lives.
