The mother of a 13-year-old boy received a phone call from the son’s school. A classmate of his was taken to the sickbay because of a broken nose, the boy made it known that the 13-year-old boy confronted him in the toilet and punched him in the face. When the proper investigation was done, many of his classmates confessed that the boy was fond of bullying them for their snacks and goodies, and whenever they refused him, he gets physical with them. On hearing this, the mother became ashamed and heartbroken.
No parent wants to be told that their child is a bully. The mere thought of your child causing other children pain is very disturbing. However, once you have been informed by the school that your child is a bully, stepping in early is a major way to help your child know that bullying is not right. Bullying among kids is not only about violence, many parents think that bullying involves just physical confrontation. Other forms of bullying include:
- Forcefully taking other kids’ items.
- Saying mean and hurtful words to children.
- Ignoring other children when they want to partake in games or other activities.
- Taunting kids with learning difficulties and physical disabilities.
Kids engage in so many activities and behavior, this does not mean that is who they really are. They only turn out to grow into that particular habit/attitude when they are left unchecked. There are kids who are still figuring out things for themselves; so many reasons may surround a child turning into a bully. Some of the reasons include;
- Seeking attention from friends, teachers & parents, and has failed to get it in other ways.
- Wanting to fit into a particular group of friends.
- Having a more forceful personality than his/her peers.
- The child, on one hand, might not have a better understanding of how their behavior is affecting others.
No matter the excuse that might have bred the behavior, you need to scold your child. Understand what exactly is going on with him/her. By doing this, you will be able to identify what is the cause, address the issue, and teach them how to develop true/real friendship behavior. Here are 5 tips you can employ to help your child overcome bullying.
1. Communicate
If you get to know that your child is a bully, what you do first is to talk to your child. Apart from listening to what the school has to say, you need to hear your child’s side of the story. Ask questions like ‘what exactly did your classmate do to you that made you hit him?’ Talking to your child about it will help you have a better understanding of why he/she is showing such behavior. If perhaps you are having a problem getting to the root of the matter, you should consider consulting a child psychologist.
2. Check yourself
Most times, children bully their mates in school if they are being maltreated by those at home; parents, family, house-help, and even their friends at home. Ask yourself ‘Am I doing enough for my child?
3. Ask questions
After you might have asked your kids the necessary questions, ensure you find out from the teachers and mates in school if your child is going through anything. It might be at their academics or among their friends. If anything is discovered, let the school know that you are willing to work with them to stop your child from bullying. Do not forget to inform the school about any issues the child might also be facing at home.
4. Let there be consequences
Punishment should be employed when it comes to cases of bullying. A meaningful consequence within the period of the incident is very effective. If your child was reported for bullying, you can scold them by seizing their toys, phones, and games, no sweets or goodies for them, if you also discover they have some questionable friends they move with, you should stop them from going out to play.
Note that if the withdrawal of privileges stays too long, it loses its relevancy, like taking away of toys; the child might as well conclude since he/she is not getting them back, there is no need to keep trying.
5. Do the right thing
Nothing else completes the list better than making the wrong right. This simply means letting your child apologize to the school and the victim that was bullied. Make it nicer by sharing goodies with the classmates, and letting the bullied child and your child partake in activities together.
Parents are fond of always supporting their children when the issue of bullying comes up, they are like ‘my son can never do such…” “My daughter cannot even hurt a fly…” Rather than doing this, train your children to become responsible by scolding them when they do wrong. The bible made it known that when you spare the rod, you spoil the child. With love, you can turn the stony heart of a child into the flesh.
